Day 9

It has now been nine days of radiation to my head and spine. I still find it hard to believe how time flies here. It seems like just yesterday I was sitting at the Texas Tech Wellness Center freaking out because I needed to get an MRI. And now at St. Jude, an MRI is probably the easiest and the most preferred of all my appointments. Who would have ever guessed that one…

The Ronald McDonald families have dinners provided by many different church organizations every couple of days. Being one of the oldest patients here at the house, I’m constantly getting asked if I have a child who is a patient at St. Jude. It’s either hard for them to believe that I’m a patient or they think I look old enough to be a mother…

Thanks to God, I haven’t had any major side effects after 2 open brain surgeries and eight days of radiation. I feel very fortunate and blessed to be in these conditions. You hear and see of many cases here at St. Jude where the children aren’t as fortunate and have to suffer through a lot of pain. When you see a child in pain, it forces you to take a step back to think about what God has done for you. It’s not easy and I wish I could take away their pain. All I can do is pray for their quick recovery and ask God to help them through their sufferings.

My family came to visit this weekend and we got to visit several places of attraction here in Memphis. The first place we got to visit is the beautiful Memphis Zoo. It’s located in a pretty part of town surrounded by many pine trees. With this heat, a zoo with shade is perfect! It had been almost 15 years since I had gone to the zoo, so I found it funny when I started getting super excited to see the giraffes and elephants like a 5 year old. That night, I took my grandmother and the rest of my family on a horse carriage ride in downtown Memphis. We all had a wonderful time together!

When my family left this morning reality hit me again. While they were here, I kept busy every minute. I loved it because I never had time to sit and think about my situation. Even though I wish I could forget about this moment once and for all it’s impossible. I feel like it’s my obligation to stay strong and motivated not only for myself, but for my family as well. The last thing I want to do is worry my family, so I try my best to act like the funny and social “Ellie”. I’m concerned because I’m getting to the point where I’m getting more tired and sleepy. Staying up and moving isn’t as easy anymore. My energy isn’t as high as it once was, but I strengthen my body and mind by reminding myself that this all temporary and that God will be give the opportunity to be myself again.

Remember that life is short and to enjoy every second of your life, for you do not know when you life can change directions. Don’t forget that God is the one who gave you this life and to live your life according to his plans, not yours. Whenever you feel troubled or worried, turn to God for he will have answers for you. God will give you what’s best for you and things you can handle. And sometimes it’s not going to be what you want, but you must learn to accept it. Let him carry you in his arms when you are weak and hold your hand when your scared. I have given myself to God and I have faith that he will carry me through this process until the end.

Thanks again for reading my blog and keeping up with me. I will try my best to keep this page updated.