So, I guess I can say it’s been one of “those” weeks where everything just seems to put you down. It’s the week you have to wear a mask and pray to God that you make it out of the fire without a fever or infection. My counts have made their way down to the bottom and when this happens I notice that I get super emotional. After every round of chemo, I have that “one” day that I just crack and let my true emotions show. But because I don’t get chemo everyday, I have good and happy days the majority of the time ;)
Many people ask me how I manage to make it day by day without getting all emotional. My response to them is that “God is always watching over me, therefore I shall not fear.” Every morning when I awake to a new beautiful day, I see and feel God. Before I was diagnosed, my vision of God was blurry and now it’s so clear and beautiful. I will forever be thankful to our Lord, my Savior, for all the blessings and miracles he has performed in my life.
We all have our off days…we’re humans. God knows and understands that not everyday can be easy for us, but it is for this reason that He tells us to turn to him and allow him to fix our problems. I can honestly say I feel guilty when I complain or cry about my problems, because according to God, there should be nothing to fear. He’s right…when I sit here and cry about how unfortunate I am and how much I wish this had never happened to me, I look around and realize my life could be harder. Our lives may not be perfect or like we want them to be, but we must be accepting of it and be thankful that we are still here. Many aren’t given the opportunity to make it as far as we have in life, for instance, last week I heard about two young children who lost their battle against cancer. This was tragic news to hear, especially because they were so young, but God put’s these examples in our life so we can step back, look, and realize how fortunate we are to still be here. We only live once, so let’s try to live it the right way…God’s way :)
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